After a busy weekend of in-laws and throwing a surprise 40th for my husband I am exhausted…and it’s only Monday. I wish I could say that coffee would help, but it actually has the opposite effect on me. So as I wheeled up my office chair to the computer this morning I was scanning through my usual list of web sites and landed on the results of this weekends Teen Choice Awards. The actual ceremony took place last night but it airs tonight and in case you don’t catch it (spoiler alert), I can sum it up rather easily. Justin Beiber, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Megan Fox, screaming, whistling, screaming and of course crying with excitement… thank goodness for a little Sandra Bullock and Betty White thrown in!
So in my overly tired state of mind, with my defenses down if it wasn’t already enough that I was scanning through these tween dream photos, I see a screen flash in front of me that offered up “When Stars Have a Bad Day”… well how can I resist? I am feeling a little ragged around the edges myself so why not?
Now being behind the camera for so much of my life, and having a recent photo of me put through the “fatbooth” iphone app..which is lovely by the way if you haven’t tried it, I know that I can’t just trust every doctored up spontaneous photo I see….
So here I go clicking through, okay, eewwww, hmmmm, rough night, wow! Then it hits me, what am I doing? Would someone please tell me why I even care if Heather Locklear is showing her age, isn’t she allowed to be 48? Or why am I concerned if the usually pulled together Katie Holmes really does look tired while she is getting her Starbucks? I mean isn’t that what Starbucks is for? How dare Katie look tired after working on her latest film projects and attending red carpet premieres…and I can’t help but notice that this photo was taken around the holidays when she was appearing on Broadway…hmm
Also please do tell if the sweat stains of Misha Barton on a hot day or the cellulite thighs of Sarah Palin are supposed to make me fell better about my own armpit puddles and jiggly bits? Are these photos supposed to magically make me feel more confident in a bikini knowing that misery loves company… should I be yelling from my poolside lounge chair to every passerby, Hey buddy Britney and Sarah Palin have this too!
Even better I love the photo of Kim Catrall who was recently in a British theater production playing a much older woman and styled appropriately, but of course we are supposed to believe that she has suddenly aged ten years since her appearance at the Sex and The City 2 premiere a few months back. Of course there could not be any photoshop here to make her look older wink, wink..
Or how about this Sarah Jessica Parker photo looking skeletal yes, but it’s obviously taken in the midst of…a yawn or perhaps, a sneeze, and we are to believe that SJP is now an emaciated form of her former self after working out with Madonna’s trainer… if only people thought I looked ten or twenty pound thinner by yawning or if it would help me to have the absolutely rockin’ body that she has…I wouldn’t spare a dime to have my jaw wired into that exact position.
Yes my loves, stars have bad days, they sweat, they yawn, they often get caught in bad lighting or have to bear unforgiving photo shop… and thank goodness for that, otherwise us poor mere mortals would never be able to show our faces, thighs or armpits in public again!
